I Can't Move On
by TheOddOne
Summary: A songfic about Dib. Zim has gone home, and Dib is reflecting...
1. Default Chapter

This is a songfic, where Zim leaves the earth, and Dib can't seem to move on. Not a Zim/Dib, unless you want it to be. ^^;  
  
"I step off the train  
  
I'm walking down your street again  
  
And past your door  
  
But you don't live there any more"  
  
Nonchalantly, I walk down the street and pass, without seeming to notice, an empty, smoldering lot. There are holes in the houses on either side, I note. I take a casual glance. You aren't there, are you? You haven't been for a while. I don't suppose you'll be back, either. None of the oblivious people in this neighborhood have noticed me walking down this street, however. I've been doing it for quite some time. Purposely ignoring the blacked space that used to hold your base.  
  
"It's years since you've been there  
  
But now you've disappeared somewhere  
  
Like outer space  
  
You've found some better place  
  
And I miss you-like the deserts miss the rain"  
  
I can remember your words: "Well, /Dib/, I guess you've won this planet! Well, my leaders have called be back for a much more IMPORTANT mission!" I guess I should be happy, huh? My planet it safe. It's been years, and I haven't gotten over it. I've been waiting all of my life for you to come, and now you're gone. Somewhere in space, with a much more significant battle then the one you had with me. There is nothing more for me. I'm actually beginning to miss you. After all, without you, there's nothing but the monotony of a normal life. I've tried pursuing my paranormal investigation, but none of it's the same. I wasn't prepared for you to disappear. I wasn't supposed to actually win! Nothing was really supposed to change!  
  
"Could you be dead?  
  
You always were two steps ahead of everyone  
  
We'd walk behind while you would run"  
  
I wonder where you are, anyway. Off fighting some fierce battle for your race? Attempting to conquer a better planet? Dead? Alive? Maybe you are dead. You always did do things to the extreme, to say the least. You always had so much more going on with you, like you were always running and not really getting anywhere, but never stopping. No one could catch up to you, not even me. And no one ever really understood. But why am I getting nostalgic all of the sudden? You've been gone for ages.  
  
"I look up at your house  
  
And I can almost hear you shout down to me  
  
Where I always used to be  
  
And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain"  
  
I suddenly realize that I've stopped. I look up, right where your house used to be. I walk over where there was once sidewalk, where I would always stand while we screamed at one another. I can almost hear us again, the childish taunts and threats, the neighbors staring at us from their windows, and I close my eyes. But the unrelenting reality of charred grass under my feet instead of solid pavement forces me to walk on.  
  
"Back on the train  
  
I ask why did I come again?  
  
Can I confess I've been hanging around your old address?"  
  
I leave the neighborhood again, only this time I'm confused. Why do I keep coming back? There's no way you are. So why can't I seem to stop? I've been coming here more and more lately. I head home, though my head is plagued by memories and questions that remain unanswered, as always. I approach my house, and go inside, only half hearing the sound of video games and experiments.  
  
  
  
"The years have proved  
  
To offer nothing since you moved  
  
You're long gone  
  
But I can't move on"  
  
These past few years have seemed not to pass at all. I've begun ignoring everything but the memories. The days are but a passing dream, not really worth anything at all. I can't seem to keep living, even though you're long gone by now. I doubt you even remember me. I don't know why I should miss you so much. It was like I didn't have a life until you showed up. That's so ridiculous. Why do I keep going back to your old base, and why do I always expect you to be back to meet me?  
  
"I step off the train  
  
I'm walking down your street again  
  
And past your door  
  
But you don't live there any more  
  
It's years since you've been there  
  
But now you've disappeared somewhere like outer space  
  
You've found some better place  
  
And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain"  
  
~ "Missing", Everything But The Girl 


	2. Wait For Me

Finally wrote another chapter where Zim comes back. It took me a while to figure out how to write it…enjoy.  
  
  
  
"As we walk together through the autumn, nearing winter  
  
Through the dying leaves and trees we call our home and native land,  
  
You say you don't believe a thing I say, I say you don't believe a thing  
  
You say you can't believe how I don't understand"  
  
The sound of blood dripping…slowly on to the hard metallic floor of my small spaceship…my blood. The consciousness is leaving my head…but I have to keep going…just to get back. A little further…  
  
/I see you walking home from school, and I come to join you. You blink wide, pale brown eyes at me, but, to my suprise, say nothing. The leaves are a blanket that covers the ground in pale oranges and browns, and the sound of them crunching under our feet seems to compensate for the lack of words between us. Then, you stop suddenly and turn to me.  
  
"Why are you following me?" Your voice is accusing, and you narrow your eyes at me. When I say nothing, you let out an aggravated sigh, and start walking faster. I don't follow.  
  
"You should be happy, /Dib/." I say suddenly. "I'm leaving."  
  
"What?" He turns and looks at me.  
  
"You heard me. I guess you've won this planet, Dib-human. Well, my leaders have called me back for a much more IMPORTANT mission!" I put as much scorn and supremacy as I can into my voice.  
  
He frowns. "I…I don't believe you! What are you planning?!"  
  
"Nothing!" I thought he'd be happy! Not disbelieving! Isn't this what he wanted. "How can you not believe me? Don't you believe in anything?"  
  
You look away. "You….I don't believe you don't understand!"  
  
I'm left standing there, watching you run, a bit bewildered. What…did I say?/  
  
I force myself out of the flashback, and try to focus on the task at hand. Yes…I must keep going.  
  
"But I Know  
  
That you will be waiting  
  
Waiting there for me"  
  
My destination is…earth. All alone this time. It's considerably more peaceful, but troubling. Upon my return to Irk, I soon discovered this "special mission" to be my own death. I'm not sure where my usual companion is-knowing him, just fine. But now…now that I've escaped, I'm going back to that filthy earth-back to you. Maybe we were enemies, and I don't know if we shall still be. But…even though you hate me, at least I know you'll be there.  
  
"You say you cannot live with me, you need your own identity,  
  
And now we air our laundry on national TV  
  
And so you hate my arrogance, my smothering and sitting on the fence  
  
But I'm afraid of the hard permanence of letting you go free"  
  
I close my eyes for a moment. So why am I, in my dying moments, going back to my pathetic mission? Instinct? Not for you, certainly. You and your obsessions with saving mankind. So I tell myself,. anyway. Truthfully, you're the only one left, Dib. Sorry, but you're going to have to deal with me. Earth's atmosphere is approaching…I close my eyes and prepare for impact, but I seem to get lost in my own thoughts again…  
  
"I'm so sick of fighting and that effigy you're lighting looks  
  
An awful lot like whose name I just can't quite place  
  
And though you say it's not supposed to be me or any entity  
  
Still through the flames and smoke I see I recognize that face"  
  
I'm sick of it…sick of fighting. Aren't you? I can't keep up the missions any longer…but perhaps that's only because my life is wearing thin…I'm so tired. I believe you are, too. When I think about it, we aren't so different, are we? Sometimes, I see you obscured by a sort of facade. You wear a familiar mask…  
  
I begin to cough, cutting into my line of thought. Earth is getting closer. The smoldering site where I once was comes closer, clearer…and the ground suddenly meets my eyes.  
  
*CRASH!*  
  
  
  
Slowly, I open my eyes. How long has it been? Then pain registers, strong. I cough, I'm surrounded by smoke, can't breathe…  
  
No one here. No one…  
  
"Zim!" I turn my head, slowly. I can barely see a familiar face through the smoke…for a second it looks as though it is me…  
  
"And you were someone who would  
  
Always tell me things I don't know,  
  
And tell me where to go  
  
But there I'll always go  
  
Whether or not you're waiting  
  
I don't care if you'll be waiting  
  
But please say that you will be waiting there for me"  
  
~"You Will Be Waiting," Barenaked Ladies  
  
/The tree tops are thick and green, carpeting the visible sky. The air is warm, and the shadows of the leaves are scattered on the sidewalk. They pass over you as you walk, but occasionally the bright sun lights your face. We are walking, just walking. I see you smile. You'll yell at me again, I know. You'll try to tell me what to do. Nevertheless, I'll be coming back…and even though I don't really care, you had better be waiting there for me./ 


End file.
